I just am on my way home.. i had 3 and one startd crying and puking.. so they went home. one bitch fuckin ruined it for evryone.. u playin cards?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Nothing is worse than post drunken playoff baseball loss sex
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
Randomize
