$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
you just kept yelling "siddle that plaza" til the cab driver said it back...
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I went to smoke a bowl and realized that my lighter is out and there's still frozen blueberries in my bong... I need to reevaluate my life...
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
So I realize somewhere between mildly irritated and outright belligerently pissed is where you are, but as to location, where are you?
Randomize
