I'm not high anymore, I decide when it's done.
It felt like his penis had an endoskeleton.
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Would fucking the college coach be against recruiting rules?
I just think that exercising will really get in the way of my painkiller induced nap time rituals. There's gotta be a better way.
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
He's so urbane and sleek; so aesthetically chiseled, having endless features to offer me whenever I desire.
Are you fucking a guy or a condo building?
I just ran your car into a ups truck....but on a up note I have a handle of fireball and breakfast burritos
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
