I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
im so glad i don't have to work tomorrow. I'm spendin all night on the new call of duty.
Wow. That's the gayest thing you ever said.
Look man i'm staying in playing videogames and growing a beard. Its not like i'm trying to get a girlfriend.
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I envy the lives of milf's kids, the little kid grabs her tits and she just laughs and says not now
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
Halfway through he got an idea for a short story so he wrote it in magic marker on my boobs. Yeah, he's a keeper.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Tempting guys with beer and cheese. How Midwestern are we?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Text me if something catches fire and I will put pants on
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
Randomize
