dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
She was pouring Goldschlager in my mouth during the shower sex. How can you NOT like her?
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
Great news! In less than 2 hours, I'm ripping your underwear off with my teeth!
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Once you jizz in someones hat, you cant take it back.
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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