fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
He sent me a picture of myself smashed completely butt naked passed out on the couch and said "at least I'll have these memories"
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
They were out of soap so you started calling yourself a dirty bitch
We both fell asleep mid-handjob and he continued to call it "handjob halftime".
Can't talk, ducks in the car
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