so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
He literally said to me "go ahead and answer that text message while I eat you out"... Maybe I AM the relationship type...
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
Randomize
