doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
my sisters under your porch take her home
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
We should invent fake asshair for you to wear so you can experience my pain for a day.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize
