i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
i paused nhl 10 while i jerked off and it was like a crowd was cheering me on
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
i'm ready for this baby to gtfo so i can get coked out.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
I just found a voice recording from Tanya's bachelorette party when we found you drunk in downtown being harassed by a crazy dude dressed like a clown and we rescued you. Attached is a voice recording of me interviewing you after we found you. I titled it Carlos Batman.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
Randomize
