soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
So I tried to call my phone from his phone and was like, "hey, my name is not in here..I thought you had my number" turns out he has my number saved as "gives good head"
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
I'm just gonna be the bigger person here and say I want you inside me
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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