We have had massive layoffs this year, yet the guy who cant flush his shit seems to still have a job
Either he has two lazy eyes or he really likes my tits..
He was from Iceland of course I didnt sleep with him, havent you seen Mighty Ducks 2???
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
How am I feeling this morning? Well, besides the fact that my vagina looks like a pair of giraffe's lips and I'm walking like an over-confident cowgirl, I'm fantastic. Thanks for your concern.
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
I don't think you understand. I woke up under the car. At 3 am. In the club parking lot.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
My dick has been in way too much crazy the past 2+weeks, but hey it feels good to fuck consistently again
How are you and your magical vagina doing today?
You're going to literally shit your fucking unholy pants when Jesus rides in with his dual light-sabers on his velociraptor and cleaves you in half.
Randomize