He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
my mom just poured a water bottle of wine to take my dog on a walk...
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
How am I suppose to fully love you when you cant even open up and try to fulfill my midget fantasy
they're like a gay fantastic four
I guess he was telling a totally normal story about being a lifeguard and I wouldn't stop screaming "THAT'S LUDICROUS" at random intervals.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
Randomize
