all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
We don't watch enough power rangers
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
We should buy t shirt guns and blow eggs out of them at his house. Bachelorette party
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
She could hold her breath for a long time. Best underwater blowjob ever.
Randomize
