Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
so im in the parking lot of taco bell eating a taco...and some girl just got out of a car and screamed at the top of her lungs "XANEX FOR SALE!!!!" i fucking love Hamilton.
is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
Her friend drew me a diagram of how we could get away with her giving me a blowjob at work.
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
I'm sitting in the corner at the bar with a poolstick in case a brawl breaks out. Some crazy shit is going down and I'm trying to show my feathers like a horny peacock.
I dont care what I am for halloween, as long as i'm not a father after
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Randomize
