you don't know how close you are to someone till they ask you to shave their ass.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I woke up in someone's flat in Budapest and then got offered a free piercing before I left. Best. Hookup. Ever.
Rebounding with her sister was the best idea i ever had.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
Randomize
