did i leave my keys in your car? BTW: sorry for throwing that drink on your date.
Dude, I couldnt get it up cause she said her parents were home...
ok, come over...I have doritos
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
i think they forgot i was still in the room... she grabbed his balls and said "i feel a fire coming on".
Random question: Have you ever woken up and were suprised to not have a penis?
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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