McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
MY MOM IS GOING TO SMOKE WITH ME.
SHE'S GOING TO SMOKE HIGH QUALITY MARIJUANA WITH ME.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
His name isnt in my phone as “Satan’s spawn” for no reason. #devildick
It was a crazy night: tears were shed, blood was spewed, and bottles were emptied.
Randomize
