Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
The dorm having an ice machine is their way of inviting us to make mixed drinks.
About to go get a free burrito for kissing a bald man in public
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
You told the bartender at least five times that you were naming your son "Jagermeister" but you would use the bartender's name "Fernando" as his middle name. You were drunk.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
Randomize
