I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I don't think he understands what an important role his penis plays in my level of self esteem
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. Hello 29...
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
He also wore a doorag last night so i had to swipe left.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
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