she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
It's an acquired taste. Like keystone. Or caviar.
so sad. i just ate the last good 'n' plenty out of the bottom of my purse.
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I asked you if you wanted to go to the ER, have me sew it up or just wrap it in duct tape and keep on keepin on. You just said YES. I remember very little after that.
You're a good friend.
Just saw an all male dolphin threesome from underwater viewing
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
Randomize
