Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
Sometimes I look at the people in school that are obviously very diligent and on top of their studies, and then I wonder why they don't smoke weed.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
I am a taco. I am also really high.
I've always seen you more as a chimichanga.
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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