And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
With great liquor, comes great irresponsibility. Remind me of this night tomorrow.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Randomize
