Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
I use him for alcohol and he uses me for sex. This is the closest thing to love i could imagine
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I lost track of him after he threw the handful of pennies at the 2 female cops and ran into the darkness. I heard a tazer and a scream. All that is left is his flip flop. Its like hes drunken man-derella.
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
We've only been here for 15 hours and our names are already on 2 separate police reports. We've also been given our "final warning" by the cops and hotel management.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
You've seen the quality of dick pics I normally get. The bar is high.
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
No no. Thank you. Killed multiple birds with one penis.
Randomize
