I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I'm like connect-the-dots of drunk. Whiskey, bourbon, vodka, rum, gin. The hidden picture is me faceplanting.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
I can't stream porn because Xbox live is taking all the Internet. I thought having a male roommate would make life easier.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
my roommates tied me up with rope and duct tape then left me outside the door to the hot girls' suite on my floor, knocked on the door and ran away leaving me there with a sign that says free
You should know two things about me,,,1) I am highly sexual and 2) I am HIGHLY competitive so you telling me about how much sex you had with the other girl makes me say "challenge accepted"... you should hydrate.
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
Like he's moved to LinkedIn creeping on me since he's blocked everywhere else & I'm just so confused does he think I'm going to post daily updates of my life on FUCKING LINKEDIN
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
i let a mormon finger me. i don't ever want to be that drunk again.
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