the ***** family is living proof that there are no more lifeguards in the humen gene pool
Joe is yelling at the trees again.
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
This was just another one of those days you wished you had a penis-size indicator instead of wasting your time isn't it?
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Was behind a guy going 20 for 4 miles I'll be there as soon as the universe quits fucking me
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
