Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
He just kept muttering to himself "stabby stabby stabby stabby" while we were boning. I will never be boning him again.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
I pulled my tongue muscle last night. your welcome.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
I peed my pants and am still dancing with guys at the club because I liked my outfit too much to change. Call the ratchet emergency
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
Is there evidence of another human being getting away with this/ not dying?
How do I figure out the name of this sleeping naked guy in my bed?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I need more 20 something year old penis in my life
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