I'm sorry my penis didn't work
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
She begged me for sex again. I felt like I was telling a homeless person I didn't have any change.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
This is the Taco Bell dump we've all been waiting for.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
Speaking of lightening speed, he ate me out while I was watching The Flash. If that's not winning at life idk what is
Don't be upset because I bitch slapped you with intelligence
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
