I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
just bought a coffee grinder that advertiesed spacious grinding chamber...new nickname for my bedroom?
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Luckily my prof thought I was puking from nerves and gave me motivational mini speeches the entire final.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
Just explain how I got from the bar to a house I've never been in, waking up to a cop in uniform ripping a bong
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
It's only awkward the first ten minutes you realize it's not your house.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
