Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
ya, but you'll graduate college with a higher education. I'm looking at at least two addictions, an abortion, and a few weeks jail time.
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Walked into the bathroom and saw a Minion eating out Harley Quinn so this Halloween will be hard to top.
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