her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
I'm partying with my neighbors right now, and by "with my neighbors" I mean they are partying in their backyard and I'm partying in mine, and by "partying" I mean I'm sitting here alone drinking tequila.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
"I'm looking more at his dick bulge." Never thought I'd hear those words come out of my boyfriend's mouth.
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
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