Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
today i learned why jack sparrow loved rum so fucking much
Got a personal ride from safe ride. I was crying so hard. The driver said think of something happy and I said Disney. In which I sang him Aladdin. So I got home ok
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
