THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I just saw a man with a full beard and frosted tips
there is no god
there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
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