problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
We're watching a video in class about cheese. The scoring for it sounds like that of a Lifetime movie. My mind is creative. I've continued my own story in my head of a wheel of cheese that was raped and murdered. It's so sad. I hope they get the guy. Btw, the video is about marketing.
Hypothetically going to the gym on coke was a good idea
Is there a special protocol when the stripper has a Boba Fett tattoo?
okay. well, yeah. i'm a mess and a half. this shit is not what dumbledore died for.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
She was all for the threesome til I showed her a pic of my boyfriend. I think I should re-evaluate my life decisions.
you scattered cereal all over the floor so you could "re-trace your steps and figure out what happened." 20 min later you yelled about the mess and let the dog in to clean it up. 5 min after that you screamed since the cereal was gone. you suspected me and locked me in the bathroom so i could "think about what i'd done"
and you bit everyone who tried to let me out. no more tequila for you. EVER.
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