I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I try not to flex my sex appeal too much around the engineers, it's like feeding bears...always ends in disaster.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
While she was pissing on the neighbors shrubs, they threatened to call the cops...she mumbled 'don't threaten me with a good time", so to answer your question, yes she was drunk.
Randomize
