His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
He is drunk texting me begging me not to tell my mom. Pretty sure he is about to offer me sexual favors for keeping my mouth shut. I love being the boss's daughter.
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I was doing handstands in the jail cell and crying “IM A HIGH SCHOOL TEACHER AND IT’S CHRISTMAS EEEEEVE”
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