yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Met this british guy. Played pool. Broke into an apartment and had sex
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