i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
don't worry i just saved a song to my personal usb drive to give to the dj at the bar. he's playing old school jlo whether he likes it or not.
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
