some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
he asked me to help him wrap his girlfriends birthday presents. Dont worry we fucked right after.
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
but, alas, I am not the lady in the streets. I'm simply the freak in the sheets.
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
Randomize
