Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
You destroyed the landscape if my vagina FOREVER.
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
We need to do something soon. I need like 4,000 beers and a cigarette.
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
I got so stoned last night I thought I was in second grade again
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Randomize
