dude she wont stop talking about little people big world...she said my penis looked like zach roloff and took a picture with her phone?
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
or how I got to mom's but there is vomit on my shoes. I never thought i'd be recapping with her.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
foreskin is a definite game changer
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Well. I mean as excuses for running late go, 'losing track of time in the bathhouse' has gotta be up there on the top ten.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I didn't even know his name until he texted me the next day and told me I should take a plan B pill. Thanks Danny.
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
Randomize
