I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
We finally gave up searching because everything had started to look like flip flops
Pooping to opera.
Randomize
