I'm drive I can fine osifer
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
i just saw a white kid with an afro using a martini shaker as a coffee thermos. go college.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
It's going to be great. They guy at the store said 3 shots and you won't be able to feel your face or stop smiling.
He def has a gf... But hes 7 feet tall and that superceeds any morality I may have.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Ok here's the state of the situation: We're alone in a strange city with strange people with nothing but alcohol and sprite, I think we're gonna make it.
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
sorry didn’t mean to call you, i was just trying to put the t-rex emoji beside your name
its Niagara falls. its like international waters. You can get away with anything there
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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