This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I had one margarita and got the worst headache of my life... its like my liver has senior week ptsd
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
Note to self: Calvin Klein's are not safe to shit in.
Randomize
