i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Dude let's go to Saudi Arabia. They outlawed valentine's day. And probably love.
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
Like it was the Mama Mia of shit shows. That bad.
he may be homeless but his dick however is not... anymore.
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
God, I missed his penis.
Really dude? drunk texts at 9 in the morning? its wednesday
Randomize
