He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
god I hate her. why can't she just fuck and leave like a normal slut.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
I just remember taking her cat for a walk around 3 am then falling asleep in a slide at the park
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
"I'm in the bathroom. Only place I can sit and relax without that girl trying to give me a lap dance."
Get off me. I'm done. I want a cookie.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
It's weird having sex with someone you actually like
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