If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
WHY AM I ALWAYS DEFEATED BY THE LATIN COCK?!?!
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Yeah I'm just gonna shower and drink a gallon of coffee and drunkenly write my research paper. It'll be fine
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
I hope every time you eat hashbrowns you think about me, the awesome sex we had and how great we could have been.
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