Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
You missed me roundhouse kicking a lit glow stick out of a guy's mouth last night. You would have been proud.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
Her boobs felt like beanie babies from heaven
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
Randomize
