I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Well, why would you bring gelado into a strip club?
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
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