there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
getting kicked in the face by someone doing a keg stand. just my luck
I couldnt give him head when all I could hear was his little brother playing the piano and this family singing along to it.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
I woke up and they were watching power rangers in japanese so I just found my bra and left
I ate mushroom chocolates & went to the botanical gardens for Christmas. HAPPY FUCKING HOLIDAYS
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
