You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Your dad touched me again.
Question. If Kwik Trip and Kum and Go were to merge, what would they call it? Kwik Kum or Kum Kwik?
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I donkey kicked that mother fucker. Never stood a chance.
It was a door. A completely inanimate object, of course it didn't stand a chance you idiot.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
Randomize
