Sweetheart, you've always been a horrid bitch...
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I'm just now starting to feel better... I remembered sleeping on the floor. I was peeing and saw his rug and it looked so comfy
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
so i just realized the reason you didn't answer my call last night is because the remote isn't a phone.
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
Randomize
