Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Don't let me pee the bed... Its going to be one of those weekends
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
Randomize
