how do chicks with those acryllic nails wipe their anuses?
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
Well today was Thanksgiving Anti-Miracle Daydrinkathon so I had to be drunk by 2pm
decision: in honor of being in new orleans this weekend all my drunk texts will be en francais
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
Yeah but I get laid and I know. He drank toilet water last night and he doesn't know about that either. Still makes me happy though.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I parked in the SAE Fraternity lot and left a note that said if you don't tow me you will all get a blowjob.
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize