Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
my mom just left...time to break out that water bottle of wine that I sewed into my teddy bear
Oh you have a half-brother? Why that's right up my alley! Let's cause family strife
Tearing families apart since 2011.
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Dumb decision of the night...walking home drunk and smelling my pepper spray
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
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