Dual....:-)
i think i have reached a jessica simpson level of regret
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
Randomize
