You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
There is a 97.5% chance that my sketchy roommate is also a hooker.
So when can I meet her?
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
I may be going to Mexico. I just met a drug dealer at a strip club. Seems legit.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
Randomize
