this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
The cop was more concerned with the fact I had cowboy boots on with shorts than the fact we were under age
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
It figures that the only time one of my videos on Snapchat gets replayed is a video of my Hedonism Bot impression and NOT my nudes
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
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