I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
Brilliant thought; pill pong.
What could go wrong?
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize
