Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
I look like a herd of wild horses chewed on my back. If you bite me again while taking me from behind, I'm going to have to cut you off.
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Solid. Can't put a price on good times
You can and it's called a liver.
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
The bong is packed and it's taco Tuesday come over
You have 4 bottles of kahlua in ur drawers but no sox
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
