sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Are they hot? And are the slutty? These are my concerns for any wedding. You say yes, and yes, I will be your best man
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
I just referred to our excessive fireball consumption as a team building exercise and everyone in group text agreed.
We're not alcoholics, we're a god damn team.
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
Randomize
