Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
We shoved chex mix between her tits for her own survival.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
I woke up to the sound of gentle rain, only to realize I was laying under a urine trough in the men's restroom. Fuck you, bourbon. Fuck you.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
sex on a roof was cool and all but that superhero argument was the best part of the night hands down
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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