I think I just was a dick to Paul Rudd.
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Washing vom off hardwood, so much easier than carpet. Thank you adulthood!
and after i failed the breathalyzer i said to the cop "i've never been very good at tests"....
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
