I'm laying in your front yard are you home
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
it was either that or behind a dumpster, and i am way too pretty to pee behind a dumpster
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
Romantic bubble bath turned into splash war. We can't be adults about anything.
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
I'm so bored I talked to the Bible guys for 30 minutes.
I offered them beer last time they came here bahaha
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
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