All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
You were so drunk you decided to go out of the car window instead of using the door, once you realized what you had just done you said fuck it and went back in through the window
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Apparently that big girl from last night tried to take me upstairs when I was blacked out and all I did was grab Qs arm and whisper 'don't let her take me'
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
You must have my penis confused with someone else's...which is disappointing
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
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