There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
dude, never take two tylenol pm and smoke three bowls. i feel like i'm covered in cold ants.
just put a funnel in my mouth and pour the tequila in with a little emergen-c
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
my mom found me this morning spread out like jesus sleeping on the living room floor. i had a piece of bread over my eyes to block the light out
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
It's supposed to be a shit show, it's an end of the world party.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It's 9:07 in the morning and I am so hungover right now I'm about to take the kids I'm babysitting to mf'ing Popeyes bc that's all I want in this world
I just realized I had arrested my one night stand from last night...
Randomize
