I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
Apparently 24 hr fitness frowns upon the ingestion of psychedelics on its premises, don't see that in the sign up contract.
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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