I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
I kept calling him escargot instead of Estaban..I don't think that was the wisest choice.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
If you want it you better put a ring on it. And by ring I mean one of my three favorite pies.
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
I guess I'm an especially affectionate person under the influence of tequila.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize
