Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Nothing says I love you as your fiancé bringing back home your drunk brother from his own stag party
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
Randomize
