i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
After I told my husband the docter shot me in the ass, he said - oh they can but I can't?!
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
After she saw a msg in his phone from me that listed the reasons why I love his cock, I don't think I can deny fucking her ex.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
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