I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
dude all my bootycalls are going to Eclipse tonight... Do I really want it that bad?
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Jake bring pizza.
JAKE BRING PIZZA.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
whatever the appropriate amount of shots is to consider drunken acrobatics a good idea was a few less than I actually had
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
Idk if I want to put a bra on
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
