it actually wasnt that awkward...i planned on saying hello and walking away..then she asked if i wanted to go to lunch and i looked at her chest and said absolutely
Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
she went apple picking. why dont we do cute things like that? let's go to a pumpkin patch!
because we're not cute. we're sluts. and sluts don't go apple picking.
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
I did nothing besides stay sober all night, I walked home to find max naked knocking cups off the counter with his cock lol
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
I just slow jerked to the titanic theme song, i dont think theres enough alcohol in the state to get me over her tonight
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
